Cheese In His Tea Bags UndertakerXReader
by oO0RyuuHeartsYou0Oo
Summary: w dare he flirt with other women! And with you right down the hall none the less! Well you weren't technically together so he could do what ever his crazy heart desired but it was implied! UndertakerXReader


"oh Mary Ann what beautiful skin you have! So soft and subtle I could just eat you up! And you are so light on your feet!" you had been an assistant undertaker for about a month now, but it was enough time for you to fall in love with the crazy silver haired mortician. So it was only natural for you to be angered when you heard your beloved undertaker in the arms of another woman!

In out rage you stomped out from your hiding place-in the kitchen preparing his favorite biscuits- and down the hall into his work shop. With a glare you scanned the room. No one. But their was a note on top of a particularly unsteady pile of books and beakers. Righting the stack you plucked the note form it's pin and began to read.

'[y/n] gone out on important 'business' be back soon~ *giggle* do you mind prepping the newest master piece while I'm gone? :3

p.s. I do look forward to trying your biscuits when I return ^o^'

you sighed and balled up the paper before lobbing it into the nearest waste bin. Well if he wanted to get his heart torn out by some slut 'Marian' then you would be there waiting for him to come crawling back. You let out a sadistic laugh and you were sure if anyone were around they would have sweat dropped.

wiping the sweat from your brow you set down your scalpel and placed the organs in the appropriate places. You had always marveled at how fragile and beautiful the human anatomy was so naturally you chose a career that reflected that... and it help that it payed super well.

The tingle of a bell alerted you there was a customer and you put on your happiest false smile.

"hello and welcome to the under taker is there anyway I can help you?" the woman that stood in front of you was tall slender and all around the prefect looking woman. Which made you hate her.

"yes is the undertaker in I would like a word with him it is quite... urgent." suspicious you nodded.

" I'm sorry he is currently out at the moment would you like to leave your name for contact?" she nodded and scribbled her info an a slip of paper before leaving the small shop. Once she was out of sight you unfolded the paper and hungrily read it's contents. 'Mary Ann Britland' as you had thought...

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"explain this!" the undertaker lazily looked at the slip of paper you had just shoved in his face and chuckled.

"why, that's a piece of paper my dear!" you rolled your eyes and pointed to the name.

"i can see that genius explain who this woman is!" he scanned the paper closer and clucked his tongue.

"I've never met a woman by that name sorry dearie~" oh hoho he was gonna play dumb huh? Well we'll see who's laughing in the end... well he's always laughing but uh... that's not the point!

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scowl glare scowl scowl scowl mayonnaise cheese glare ham.

Bitterly you viciously tore a bite out of your poor sandwich and chewed mercilessly. How dare he flirt with other women! And with you right down the hall none the less! Well you weren't technically together so he could do what ever his crazy heart desired but it was implied! For god sakes you basically share the same bedroom! -lack of space being the primary cause but there was a bed sheet in between as a partition!- with a growl you tossed the bed pan -cleaned and burned before use- full of bread crumbs into the sink not even bothering to clean it.

"Anna you are such an exquisite dancer your husband must be proud!"what now he's dancing with a ANOTHER woman and a married one none the less! Stomping down the hall so he could hear you even over his insanely loud music you burst into the room armed with a slice of cheese and the mustard bottle.

"beotch get yo hands off ma man!" with a grin the silver man turned to you and you watched as a skeleton's head lolled onto his shoulder. The echo of the mustard bottle was all that filled the room as you sped across the room and started slapping him around with your cheese.

"you bastard what the fuck is your problem! How dare you make me jealous! And necrophilia is a crime do I need to report you to the police or maybe I'll tell William you keep naked pictures of him under your mattress! Yeah that's right I found your pervy stash!- ugg hey let go of me!" you flailed around trying to release yourself from the laughing man's tight grip.

"sorry dearie your just so cute I can't help but try and hug you to death! Come on say something funnier and I'll give you a kiss!" a blush spread across your cheeks and you flailed even more.

"E-ew you old pervert as if I would ever want a kiss from someone as old and ass dragging as you and when I get free I'm gonna kick you in the tea bags so hard you wont be able to hump dead bodies for a we-" we'll lets say the prospect of the big bad shigigami being kicked in the 'tea bags' by a little girl who's weapons of choice are also condiments was quite funny.

~*~*~*~*~*~extra ending~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

one night at dinner a thought suddenly pops into your head.

"hey babe if you've been fucking dead bodies this whole time who was that one lady who came in that time?" he just shrugged and went back to eating his bed pan samich.

That night a woman named Mary murdered her daughter husband and the wife of her lover


End file.
